Not Enough Time

As each day goes by and I get older (hence a birthday this week - "41"), I find myself wondering where all the time has gone.  Remember when you were growing up or when you had a child and all the adults were saying, "Enjoy this, time will pass by so quickly".  That's how I feel daily, never enough time to clean, never enough time to just play with the kids, never enough time to read, do a hobby, spend time alone with your spouse.  Having a 10 year old son & a 3 year old son, can be trying at times - their activities are not the same, they have different needs.  I feel myself being pulled in all different directions - thinking "WHEN IS IT ME TIME!"  (Does that ever happen to you?)

"Sons are indeed a heritage from the LORD, children, a reward (Psalm 127:3).  I believe that with all my heart, It only takes a second to look @ my 2 boys and see how blessed I am.  I think back to 11 years ago when all I died was cry and pray for just one child, just one Lord.  I am so thankful that he blessed me with them.  But I still have a hard time, just stopping when they need me to listen and play with them. In the back of my mind, I'm going I have this to do, here to go, etc.  I pray that God will help me to Stop and Listen Daily to the needs of my children and husband because "Time really if passing to quickly".

My Firstborn

This past Wednesday was my oldest son's "10th" birthday.  He is so kind hearted and full of life.  I can still remember the moment that the nurse called me @ work and told me that I was indeed pregnant.  I told her, "you're lying".  After everything we had been throught I couldn't believe that our dream of becoming parents was about the come true.  I planned on waiting until I got home to tell David, but I was so excited I called him on his cell phone.  He was on his way back to work from lunch.  I think he was in shock also.  From that moment on our life changed forever. I no longer put myself first - I constantly made sure everything I did was for our unborn child.  I in no way was prepared for the love and joy that a child could bring us.  Haydn Matthew Varon was born on 2/2/11 after 21 hours of labor, an unplanned c-section, out come a baby boy weighing in @ 9.3 lbs.  (I know - there's no way I would of been able to have that baby naturally)!

I had planned on going back to work @ 8 weeks, but Haydn had been throwing up his formula alot and after several trips to the doctor, we were sent for an upper GI.  They immediately sent us to the hospital for emergency surgery.  His stomach flap would not open all the way and that's why he would throw up his formula, it's called pyloric stenosis.  To think of your 8 week old child having surgery, I felt helpless, like what if he doesn't make it.  Needless to say he did great, spent about 4 days in the hospital and never stopped eating since!

It has been a long road to get our two boys and we are in awe of them everyday and the journey we have traveled.  God has truly blessed.

We Love You, Haydn Matthew Varon !

Faith on Upside-Down Days

There have been many times when my plans for the day are interrupted.  Even though I consider myself a list maker and plan my days around the boys schedule.  I am not an hour by hour planner.  So, last Tuesday night when Easton started running a fever, I had to keep him home from his preschool Christmas party and church.  He just laid around all day Wednesday - not normal for a 3 year little boy.  So, Thursday we headed to the doctor - Results - "Flu patient # 1".  Friday, when Haydn got home, he was complaining about being really tired, this was followed by fever & throwing up.  So, no church for us on Sunday and I took Haydn to the doctor on Monday, they tested him for the flu, he was negative, but they gave him Tami flu anyways.  In the meantime, I thought I had another sinus infection, so I went to the Dr. Monday also - Results - "Flu patient #2".  David went Tuesday to get tested and he was also negative, but they gave him the medicine anyways.  I would love for someone to explain to me why 2 people who tested negative for the flu and 2 peoples who tested positive for the flu - Both have the same medicine.  I could of saved ALOT of money on co-pays & Rx's if they have given the whole family doses when I took Easton.  So $395.00 later we are all on Tami flu.  Easton is done and better.  I am just tired and stopped up a little.  Haydn is bored and David is tired but not from the flu - he has been working 10-12 hours days since last Thursday.

I can tell you these past 5 days I have done alot of praying, alot of crying and yes my share of whining.  It's no fun being sick when you have to take care of 2 sick children who constantly want to cling to you.  I love them, but after 5 days - we need some time apart!  This is so not the way we wanted to start our Christmas Break.  But I say all of this to say that God is in Control.  No matter how many list or plans I make, it can all be changed in a second.

We did get out tonight and rode around looking at Christmas lights  - it amazing me how many people just don't decorate anymore.  We rode by a house with a beautiful manager scene and I asked Easton, "What is that?" and he replied, "Wise Men" and I was like, "What else?" and he said, "1 Joseph, 1 Mary" and I said "What about the baby?" and he said, "That's Baby Jesus."  Do you know how proud my heart was to hear my 3 year old saying those words and knows the meaning of Christmas - BEYOND WORDS!  and to have my older son, Haydn (9) have come forward in the month of December to accept Christ as his Savior.  Those are the real meaning of Christmas and they make the Upside -Down Days not so bad anymore!

Wishing you and your families a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Choosing Faith over Worry

I'm not really sure where to begin, these past few weeks have been very trying.  I and my two boys have been sick with a cold and trying to get rid of it.  With the weather constantly changing and sitting out in the weather for baseball games - that's not an easy task.  My husband, David turned 40 on the 5th of October, we celebrated his birthday this past weekend with some friends by going out to eat in Auburn and shopping.  Sometimes it's just nice to get out of the area and go somewhere new even if it's not very far away.

Next, I have been very torn about working part-time to bring in some extra money (that we could really use), but I don't want to have to ask the grandmother's to keep Easton and I don't want to have to pay to send him somewhere (that would kind of defeat the purpose of working PT).  I know God wants us to be anxious about nothing, but in everything pray.  Today's devotion hit home with me about that. "While life's difficulties may make it hard to practice genuine faith in God, those are exactly the times when He expects us to obey such instructions."  "If you are fearful of your circumstances today, overwhelmed with anxious thoughts and concerns, choose instead to trust God.  He will bless your obedience and use you to encourage others around you who are struggling as well."  "Father today I choose to remember how You have been faithful to me, and I choose not to worry."

I am ashamed to say that I am a worrier, it's inherited.  I don't want to be and I try not to be.  I worry about my children, my appearance (mainly weight), our finances, our future.  I know that I need to be faithful in my prayer life and turn it all over to God and he will lead me to find answers and peace. I don't know how anyone makes it thru the day without knowing God.

Want vs. Need

I want a new car.  I want a new wardrobe.  I want a new house.  It seems sometimes like everyone has these things except me.  Yes, I did make the decision to stay home, therefore reducing our income to one and we have had to make sacrifices - but that doesn't stop the wanting.  I could go back to work and make extra money, but I want to be home for my kids and doing the things that need to be done around here for my family.   I try to be patient, but some days I feel like my 3 year old, pitching a fit and whining.  When I tell my kids no they can't have something, I have to remind myself of the same rule.  Then God reminds me of all the good things he's done in my life, my house, my husband who has a job, my children, a God who loves me.  Maybe God is after growth in patience and rearrangement of priorities or contentment in my heart or refinement of my character.  Whatever He's after, I want to honor and glorify Him.   "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." Philippians 4:11.  Being content is a hard pill to swallow sometimes, but I have to stop and look around.  Look at this person who is hurting, this person who has lost their home, or the lost person who needs salvation.  I don't NEED those things, I just WANT them and I have to pray ernestly to God to take the Want out of my heart and show me that all I really need is Him.  "God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:19.

Disorganized

I know it's been over a week since I have blogged and I told myself if I started a blog I would not be one of those people who didn't actually keep it up every week.  But everytime I think I have each thing in my full life on schedule, someone gets sick, I get called in to work, something unexpected comes up or I just get lazy.   With the holiday this week, it is messing up my walking time since I can't walk with Easton (he will not stay in  a stroller) and David's schedule always gets changed on holiday weeks.  Usually I try to walk on  Monday thru Friday since Eastson is in K-3 M-W-F and on Tues. David doesn't go in to work until 1:00 and he usually off on Thursdays.  I take the weekends off. 
This week David worked early today, I am subbing tomorrow all day.  So, I won't get to walk until Thursday and Friday.  I hate to exercise by myself and I told myself since I couldn't walk I would, but of course I haven't yet.  I was also reading a Health magazine last night and it said when you turn 40 your metabolism slows down and you have to workout twice as much to do any good and especially on your midsection which is where most of your weight resides in your 40's.  Thanks - that's exactly what I wanted to here - NOT!  Why does maintaining weight have to be so complicated.  I'm not asking to be a size 0, just a size 8, that doesn't have to worry about anything hanging over my pants when I sit down or anything moving when I walk or run.  How hard is that? 
Well, hopefully I will get back on track with my blogging and walking next week. 

Weekend/Homework

Let me start by saying how great it has been that my husband has been off the past "3" weekends since he usually works every other weekend.  It's hard to plan an activity that both of the boys want to do since they are so different in age (3 & 9), so having him here to tag team has been great.  Friday night we stayed home.  Saturday morning I got up early to drop Easton at David's mom's in Montgomery so I could attend a consignment sale.  Haydn & David headed to baseball practice @ 10:30.  Around 2:00 we all headed back to Montgomery for my sister-in-laws boyfriend's birthday party. We had BBQ from Varsity (it was really good) & cake from Publix (which is always awesome)!  Then we headed home so Haydn could do a school project and to get ready for Sunday.  Sunday we had church and ate lunch @ mom's as usual.  Then David  & Haydn headed to the Biscuits game with some friends (David had been given 4 free tickets).  Easton & I headed home for a nap.

Talk about doing a 180....Homework, I know this is a necessary part of school and life, but can I just say "I DO NOT LIKE HOMEWORK!  Haydn is in the 4th grade now and his schoolwork is getting harder and he has more quizzes in between tests.   David & I are trying to drill into his head that all the easy grades are gone, he has to study and not just cram the night before a test.  We are trying to get him to understand school is first, then tv and baseball.  Boys - are so much harder than Girls to get to be still and study.  I read "Bringing up Boys" by James Dobson and my eyes were opened to little things that are so much harder for boys than girls.  Spelling is our biggest challenge, I would say that most guys are not great spellers, but great at Math.  I told David I hoped we do not have Spelling until 12th grade or we will never make it!  Then I started thinking, wait I still have another boy to go thru school - maybe I'll hire a tutor?

As I sit here talking about the different between boys & girls, my devotion for the day starts like this, A wife is asking her husband if they are going to a concert with friends because the tickets need to be reserved soon.  Her husband says "I don't remember discussing a concert."  His wife sighed. God has taught her that her best response to her husbands "failure to hear" was patient and loving reminders.  We are told that most men don't respond well to long conversations filled with many details and excessive dialogue.   (See big difference).